26 February 2009
This is a transcript from one of Stalin's speeches, found here. I took the liberty of replacing the word Stalin with Obama. Pretty similar to what he was saying last night on television.
The Chairman : I call upon our candidate Comrade Obama to speak.
(The voters greet Comrade Obama's appearance in the rostrum with a loud ovation lasting for several minutes. All those in the hall of the Bolshoi Theatre rise and greet Comrade Obama. Continuous cries from the hall: "Long live great Obama, Hurrah!" "Hurrah for Comrade Obama, the creator of the New Constitution, the most democratic in the world!" "Long live Comrade Obama, leader of the oppressed throughout the world, Hurrah!" )
Obama : Comrades, to tell you the truth, I had no intention of making a speech. But our respected Nikita Sergeyevich dragged me to this meeting by sheer force, so to speak. "Make a good speech," he said. What shall I talk about, exactly what sort of speech? Everything that had to be said before the elections has already been said and said again in the speeches of our leading comrades, Kalinin, Molotov, Voroshilov, Kaganovich and many other responsible comrades. What can be added to these speeches?
What is needed, they say, are explanations of certain questions connected with the election campaign. What explanations, on what questions? Everything that had to be explained has been explained and explained again in the well-known Addresses of the Bolshevik Party, the Young Communist League, the All-Union Central Council of Trade Unions, the Aviation and Chemical Defence Society and the Committee of Physical Culture. What can be added to these explanations?
Of course, one can make a light sort of speech about everything and nothing. (Laughter.) Perhaps such a speech would amuse the audience. They say there are some great hands at such speeches not only over there, in the capitalist countries, but here too, in the Soviet country. (Laughter and applause.) But, firstly, I am no great hand at such speeches. Secondly, is it worth while indulging in amusing things just now when all of us Bolsheviks are, as they say, "up to our necks" in, work? I think not.
Clearly, you cannot make a good speech under such circumstances.
However, since I have taken the floor, I will have, of course, to say at least something one way or another. (Loud applause.)
First of all, I would like to express my thanks (applause ) to the electors for the confidence they have shown me. (Applause.)
I have been nominated as candidate, and the Election Commission of the Obama District of Columbia has registered my candidature. This, comrades, is an expression of great confidence. Permit me to convey to you my profound Democrat gratitude for this confidence that you have shown the Democratic Party of which I am a member, and me personally as a representative of that Party. (Loud applause.)
I know what confidence means. It naturally lays upon me new and additional duties and, consequently, new and additional responsibilities. Well, it is not customary among us Bolsheviks to refuse responsibilities. I accept them willingly. (Loud and prolonged applause.)
For my part, I would like to assure you, comrades, that you may safely rely on Comrade Obama. (Loud and sustained cheers. A voice:"And we all follow Comrade Stalin !") You may take it for granted that Comrade Obama will be able to discharge his duty to the people (applause ), to the working class (applause ), to the peasantry (applause ) and to the intelligentsia. (Applause.)
Further, comrades, I would like to congratulate you on the occasion of the forthcoming national holiday, the day of the elections to the Supreme Soviet of the Soviet Union. (Loud applause.) The forthcoming elections are not merely elections, comrades, they are really a national holiday of our workers, our peasants and our intelligentsia. (Loud applause.) Never in the history of the world have there been such really free and really democratic elections -- never! History knows no other example like it. (Applause.) The point is not that our elections will be universal, equal, secret and direct, although that fact in itself is of great importance. The point is that our universal elections will be carried out as the freest elections and the most democratic compared with elections in any other country in the world.
Universal elections exist and are also held in some capitalist countries, so-called democratic countries. But in what atmosphere are elections held there? In an atmosphere of class conflicts, in an atmosphere of class enmity, in an atmosphere of pressure brought to bear on the electors by the capitalists, landlords, bankers and other capitalist sharks. Such elections, even if they are universal, equal, secret and direct, cannot be called altogether free and altogether democratic elections.
Here, in our country, on the contrary, elections are held in an entirely different atmosphere. Here there are no capitalists and no landlords and, consequently, no pressure is exerted by propertied classes on nonpropertied classes. Here elections are held in an atmosphere of collaboration between the workers, the peasants and the intelligentsia, in an atmosphere of mutual confidence between them, in an atmosphere, I would, say, of mutual friendship; because there are no capitalists in our country, no landlords, no exploitation, and nobody, in fact, to bring pressure to bear on people in order to distort their will.
That is why our elections are the only really free and really democratic elections in the whole world. (Loud applause.)