05 October 2006

His ideal weight if he was 8' 11"

Sometimes I can be so cruel. As I passed a moment at the jungle gym I couldn't help but notice this 5' 2" butterball meandering around the area. It warmed the cockles of my heart to see this guy tear himself away from his 5,000 calories-per-day regimen (ie. the Super China Buffet diet), slap on the power socks (in stunning grey) and Addidas cross-trainers.

The racist T-shirt was a nice touch too.

No Climbing means You, Tiny!

I couldn't help but stare at the inscription.

The writing on the shirt literally translates as "long live my race" - but that sounds almost benevolent, don't you think? A more accurate phrasing, with inflection and intent would be "Latino Race Power"

In other words, try wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Odin sailing on a dragon boat with the words White Power stenciled over it. How far would that get you at the local Chuck E. Cheese? You'd probably get a little something extra under the cheese on your 16" to-go from Marcos and Pedro back in the kitchen. Oh that's right - I keep forgetting: only white people can be racists! Doh!

At least I can be happy that we've saved another hardworking, starving immigrant from certain death at the border. WHEW!!!

And he's probably here to do the work that American citizens just won't do. Now I know why Liberals feel so wonderful about themselves all the time. These socially liberal ways of thinking do release powerful endorphins into the neuromuscular system of the user ... It's very addictive.

I'm going to go lie down now.


Anonymous said...

2 funny, NOT, lately I've been getting sick to my stomach by the immigrants who can't speak English, but they can say LINC.

Sabian said...

I don't know. Margarita wants me to do the work while she lays on her widening backside and reminds me how much she LOVES me taking her to Lalo's, Guadalahara's for a massive steak dinner con fritos, and she wants her fatherless runts to call me Papi. No racism here.....until I remind her that I told her from the git-go that "I am not looking for a long term relationship, not gonna be anybody elses kids' daddy, and I am not paying for your pedicures." Then I will be the evil blue eyed monster who took advantage of that lecherous little Latina. Then I will be a racist dog. Woof!

Sabian said...

Fat Boy looks familiar. Me thinks he works at Pete's Market on Pulaski.

CPDSpicoli said...

This guys got TVB written all over him!

Anonymous said...

Oh please. As if his shirt is any different then the saying, "Long Live America." Or better yet, the idiots in Carptentersville that want to make English the official language fo the piddly town, and make it illegal to rent to people without legal documentation. Two problems come to mind here. One, Carpentersville is 40% hispanic and this law will die in the appelate system under the 1st ammendment once it hits the appellate system(state and federal). Two, all the caucasian people peddling these types of laws fail to realize how many of their own(white i.e. Polish, Russian, astd. Eastern European) will soon succomb to such a ridiculously racist and unconstitutional law. This ideas didnt come across peoples minds until Bush illegally won office. Can't wait to see all you right wingers with yout foot in your mouth in a mouth. Just like Bush though, you will fail to admit you are wrong, and try to make excuses for your living in a world where everyone is supposedly agains't you. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Thats pretty funny. It seems to me that the whole immigration issue strikes a nerve with you. You must work in one of our many hispanic districts and have first hand knowledge of the effects of illegal immigration on the city.I can understand that, but i would trade one
hard working wetback for ten lazy mules anyday.

Anonymous said...

To 11:01 A.M.
From 1:52 A.M.

You know what? I actually agree with you. The sad part is that we WILL lose many good, hardworking people form ALL ethnicities as a result of this law. Unfortunately, most people fail to take into account because all they see through the blinders they call eyes is the color brown. Yes or no?

Anonymous said...

Are you kiddin me? I'm moving to carpentersville as soon as I retire BECAUSE of this new law. Screw all these illegals and yes, that includes the white ones.

Joshua said...

Two things:

1. How do you know he's an illegal immigrant?

and 2. If we wanna talk about fat: what's Dennis Hastert's daily calorie intake?

okay 3. Your Spanish needs some work. Viva mi raza does not "literally" mean "long live my race" -- it "literally" means "live my race." However, it only makes sense in English as "Long Live My Race." That's called translation. But your difficulties with literalism are only the beginning of the problem. As another commenter pointed out before, "raza" has an entirely different usage and connotation in Spanish than it does in English, because Spanish speakers are much more willing to discuss race. The real meaning of the phrase is cultural and more akin to a shirt that could be seen on any reservation in the country saying "Indian Pride" or even "Kiss Me, I'm Irish." It does NOT carry the same weight as "White Power" since the phrase white power has little to do with simple pride in one's cultural roots and a great deal to do with racist politics.

Okay, time for me to get back to ruining America by eating at the chinese buffet.

Rue St. Michel said...

Hi Josh ... long time no talk. Thanks for checking in.

Well I will be perfectly honest by saying that I was totally picking on that guy because he was morbidly obese. Yes I was being judgmental. And No - I don't know what the guy's immigration status is ... that's not the point. There are plenty of fat people in the world...I just thought it was an interesting juxtaposition between the obesity and the racially charged t-shirt.

And no my spanish skills would only need improvement if I was going to lecture on Astrophysics at the Universidad de Madrid. I wouldn't be able to comfortably carry an intelligent conversation in Spanish about astrophysics but I've got 20 years of speaking, writing and translating spanish under my belt. I use my spanish every day - sometimes involving very volatile and dynamic street situations.
So I'm very comfortable with my interpretation of that phrase and it is a slap in the face, based on the usage and context.